Cool Quote of the Moment Archive

The Archive will be updated as new quotes replace the old.

"Ah! The agony! She's beating me with her little wings!"
~Spoony-E in Dragon Puncher by James Kochalka

There was an old lady of Steen,
Whose musical sense was not keen;
She said, "Well, it's odd
but I cannot tell 'God
save the Weasel' from 'Pop Goes the Queen.'"
--by Beatrice P. Krone, from Laughable Limericks compiled by Sara and John E. Brewton.

Iku Kasahara writes home:
"My supervisor can be a bit gruff, but sometimes he hugs me tightly to encourage m..."

"Augh!! What am I writing?"
*crumple crumple*

Library Wars: Love & War volume 4 by Kiiro Yumi

My mother gets mad at us for talking about him behind his back.
"The boy just hasn't grown into himself yet," she protests, which is mom-code for "He's a total dork."

--Pies and Prejudice by Heather Vogel Frederick

"What, if he doesn't fill out all the forms, they won't let him die?"

--The Cardturner by Louis Sachar

What do you get if you pull your underwear up to your neck?

A chest of drawers.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser.

--Horrid Henry's Joke Book by Francesca Simon

"If he didn't make this book, I'd be crying my head off."
-- Lily of Bookie Woogie speaking about The Arrival by Shaun Tan

"A good many men had proposed to her in the course of her career, but none of them had ever left her with this odd feeling of exhilaration. Psmith was different from any other man who had come her way, and difference was a quality which Eve esteemed. . . ."
-- Leave it to Psmith, P. G. Wodehouse

"With great power. . . comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later."
--The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan

"Flunk us?" said Nick.
"Kill us?" said Marta.
"Worse!" exclaimed Mrs. Starch. "I'll lose all respect for you. All respect."

--from Scat by Carl Hiaasen

"I mean, you've got to be at least twice my age."

"Twice your. . . Valette, I'm twenty-one. Unless you're a very mature ten year old, I'm nowhere near twice your age."

--Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

It was hard to imagine a pig and a turtle together but it gave me something to do through the rest of the meeting.

--Everything on a Waffle, by Polly Horvath

I love Dead Bride.

--The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies!
--The Encyclopedia of Immaturity, Klutz

Raisins are actually turds!

The Willoughbys by Lois Lowry

He wore a sweater in a tangerine and teal diamond pattern under his ever-present corduroy jacket, the knot of his tie painfully cinched as if he had just climbed down from an unsuccessful attempt to hang himself.

-- Fiendish Deeds by P. J. Bracegirdle

"'If a chipmunk mated with a monkey, would it be called a monk-munk?' asked Quenton.

'Don't be ridiculous, Quenton!' said Rachel indignantly. 'It would be called a chip-key.'"

-- Anna Smudge: Professional Shrink by MAC

"Listen to her. Elizabeth! What's seven plus two plus six plus eight plus five? See? It's all slipping. Spell Czechoslovakia. See? No answer. The girl's on her way to rack and ruin." -- Auntie Doreen in My Dad's a Birdman by David Almond.

Mrs. Rice took one look at my face when I walked in and said, "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you today?"

"Not yet, I said. "Do you like tattoos?"

"Not too much. Do you?"

"Yes," I said. I took a deep breath. "Okay, now I want to tell you."

from Clementine's Letter written by Sara Pennypacker, illustrated by Marla Frazee.

"Is it morning...or are we dead? Cause I feel dead."

"Nope, sadly, it's just morning."

--Rapunzel's Revenge; Rapunzel, Jack.

". . . I have no right to indulge in a lack of confidence. It would only interfere with the task before me."

--Educating Esme, Esme Raji Codell

"Pigs are very stinky animals blah blah blah..."

--Babymouse's Teacher, Babymouse 8: Puppy Love.

"My fatal flaw is hubris."

I blinked. "That brown stuff they spread on veggie sandwiches?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, Seaweed Brain. That's hummus. Hubris is worse."

"What could be worse than hummus?"

--Annabeth and Percy, The Sea of Monsters

"Everything I've read has been dull as doorknobs." -- Reynie Muldoon, The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey

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